Are you kidding me?

Yesterday a guy shows up with a script for Vicodin and one for Augmentin. He tosses them down (no info on the scripts other than his name) and says he doesn't have his frequent shopper card, he'll run home for it and come right back. I look him up in the computer but don't see him, so I'm only able to ask his birthdate and allergies before he runs off.
We enter him as new in the system, and fill his scripts. They come to about $32. When I go to ring him out, I ask if he has prescription coverage. he starts looking through 2 different piles of cards/stuff in his pockets.
Guy: Is this it? (hands me a medical card with no rx info on it)
Me: Nope, there should be another card
Guy: Pay $10,000 a year for insurance and I don't have drug coverage? (angrily rifling through his massive card stash)
Me: It's probably just on a different card
Guy: Here it is. (Hands me an Aetna dental card)
Me: Nope, that ones dental. You should have another one.
Guy: These are the only cards I have.
Me: Well, this comes to about $32. You can pay for it now, and if you find your insurance card you can come back within 7 days and we'll refund you and rebill these through your insurance.
Guy: 7 days...don't want to put you guys out or anything!
Me: If it's longer than 7 days, your insurance can reimburse you. Just hold on to the register receipt and your prescription labels that are right here on the bags.
Guy: (sighing) So should I call these people? (points to medical card)
Me: You can try, but that's a different provider thaan dental, so it's possible you'll have a different pharmacy benefits provider.
Guy: (Sighing even louder) Fine.
Me: Maybe there's only one card and your wife has it. Anyway, that's $31.87...
Guy: My insurance doesn't cover any of it?

Are you fucking serious!? What the hell was the last 5 minutes about, you fucknut??

Me: You didn't give me a prescription coverage card, so there isn't any insurance being applied to these.
(guy throws down two twenties)
-end-

30 minutes later:
Lady on phone: Hi, I'm calling from Caremark, and we have a subscriber who was just in your pharmacy and bought two prescriptions, and -
Me: Is it Guy?
Lady: Yes, ma'am.
Me: sigh.

I printed out the 2 prescription labels as cash before I edited them through insurance. I just KNOW the prick will come back without his labels or receipt. Then he'll have to get store credit instead of cash back, and I know he'll complain about that too.
I really, REALLY hate customers. I love my job (learning about different meds, occasionally helping someone who is thankful and speaks english). I just am reaching the end of my rope with stupidity. And people who don't speak english that I have to spend 5 minutes explaining his son doesn't have benefits anymore, but I did get his new ID number from BMC for when the benefits are reinstated (and I tried billing with that new ID number but he's not covered). No, it's not just the ID number, yes, I understand your wife has the same card and her number changed (and someone at my pharmacy had to call BMC to get the new ID number over the weekend so you could fill your wifes Percocet prescription), but this is not about his ID number, it's about him not having coverage anymore. No, changing the ID number makes no difference, I tried it. Your son doesn't have coverage.
Then 20 minutes later, spanish guys wife is calling (it's even harder for me to understand broken english over the phone) and telling me she called the number I gave them and they told her to tell me to call another number. I slammed my hands down on the counter and said "What do you want me to do? I already called his primary insurance, and his coverage ended on 4/25. Mass Health won't pay for this because he has managed care." She tells me to call this number. I do, and it's mass health - hey, they won't cover him because he has managed care. No way?! I call spanish lady back and tell her I've done everything I can. "I called BMC, and he does not have coverage. I got his new ID number, which doesn't work because your son doesn't have coverage. I then called Mass Health, and they won't do anything because your son has BMC. So you need to talk to BMC and get this figured out."
Guess what they wanted to fill for their son? Glycolax. Yes, Miralax - it's available over the counter, but NO...foreigners depending on state tit for everything can't be expected to pay out of pocket for a medicine that's over the counter! Never!!

Must you speak so fast?

Alright, talk fast on our voicemail...fine, I'll keep replaying it until I get what you said. But when you're calling it in and talking to me? Slow the fuck down. Seriously. Do you ladies have a contest to see who can call in a script the fastest? Like when I used to call patients to remind them to pick up their prescriptions. I loved to time my calls and see how fast I could say my speech about who I was and where I was from. But I was just timing myself, not an office of idiots agents.
Speaking of agents, why do doctors "agents" (I use that word loosely, since it's usually people who either don't have a good hold on English, or don't have any idea of what medicines they're calling in - how can you not know how pronounce simvastatin?) always talk so fast when calling in scripts? And why are these agents so stupid? Today I get a lady calling in both a cream AND a lotion (same medication), lady knows one is .05% and when I ask strength on the other she says "Oh, it doesn't say...hold on."
*click* muzak.
She comes back and says it's also .05, great. I ask for directions.
"Hold on"
*click* muzak.
She comes back and says "I'll have to call you back."
Um, when you checked on the strength, why didn't you make sure you had all of the other info for me?
Dumbass.

You SURE you want these back?

So, I think this is weird. Some of you may know I have a history of complaining to any company that I feel has provided inferior service or products. I usually get coupons, refunds, replacement products, etc.
Let me give you some examples:
Lipton Brisk Iced Tea: Tasted funny, I got coupons for a free case of tea, and coupons for money off a few other cases
Glade Scented oil candles:Won't relight after they've been blown out, even if there's still oil that could be burned. I got 2 coupons for replacement packages
9 lives:Bones in tuna cat food. I got coupons for replacement cans
I could go on, but you see my point. So, I bought Tom (my husband) a package of underwear and they just don't fit right. I emailed them yesterday to complain that they look like little boy underwear. They wrote back saying they'll replace them (refund if I have the receipt, which I don't) as long as I mail them back.
Um.
Tom wore them. I washed them, of course, but still...you really want them back?
I called to verify. Yup, they still want them back.
Ooooookay...
I guess I found a job that's got to be worse than being a pharmacy tech, eh? Receiving used and worn underwear...I have to imagine that some people don't wash them before they return them.
Eeeeeeewwwww.

It says no refills!

Younger lady: "Did a doctor call in for Mrs. Jones?"
(I check and see it's in her profile as cash, so I pull it to see why. Explanation not filled out by dumbass tech from yesterday, but rejection notice was attached - refill too soon, fill 5/20, filled 3/12) )
Me: "The doctor did call it in, but it's too soon. It looks like it was filled on March 12. Did you get a mail order prescription for a 90 day supply?"
YL: "Let me ask her. (mumble mumble)"
Old lady:"Hello?"
Me: "Hi, the doctor did call in a prescription for you, but your insurance won't cover it until May 20."
OL: "But I don't have any!"
Me: "I think you probably got a 90 day supply through mail order. It looks like it was filled on March 12, so you probably got it a week or so later."
OL: "I never got that! I don't know what you're talking about. I never get more than 2 months from them."
Me: "Well, your insurance won't pay for this prescription until May 20, because it was filled on March 12 for a 3 month supply."
OL: "Let me look at my bottle here...it says March 12...they never sent me all my pills in one bottle before."
Me: "Okay, so that is the mail order bottle. Are you still taking 1 1/2 pills a day?"
OL: "What? Yes...this says no refills! I don't want to run out of pills!"
Me: "You won't there's a new prescription here for you. The bottle you have now should have had 135 pills in it. Can you see where it says quantity on the bottle?"
OL: "It doesn't say that anywhere. It says no refills!"
Me: "Does it say to take 1 1/2 tablets a day?"
OL: "Yes. But there are no refills...can I count the pills in here?"
Me: "Kill me now." Okay, I actually said...
Me: "Okay..." (and I wait...)
OL: "I've never had all of the pills come in one bottle."
Me: "Well, you have the bottle they sent you, and it had 3 months worth of pills in it. It was filled March 12, so you probably got it a few days later. March 12 to Aprily, to May, it should last you through mid-June. So that should definitely last you through May 20 which is when your insurance will cover this new prescription."
OL: "I don't want to run out of pills!"
Me: "You won't run out of pills. The bottle you have now has enough pills to last you through half of June. When you have just a few pills left in your bottle, call us. Then we can fill the prescription we have here for you."
OL: "Alright..."
Me: "Okay...so you have enough pills in that bottle to last you for 2 more months. When you run out, call us, and we'll fill your prescription, okay?"
OL: "Okay."
CLICK...the 6+ minute phone call was over.

I wrote on the prescription, after I put it on hold:
"This is fillable on May 20. She did receive mailorder for 90 days in mid-March, so this should not have to be filled until mid-June."
I'd be willing to bet she's going to call within the next few days. Hopefully the staff at the pharmacy will comprehend my note and NOT try to get her an override for an early fill...

Ridiculous. Sorry it's not funny, but it's pharmacy life.

Dimwit

So yesterday I walk into work and the pharmacist tells me he's already been told by a doctors office that a narcotic pain patch rx is fake, and CALL THE POLICE! Since it was a Medicaid RX, he had to verify it (because doctors are not assuming responsibility for this, and still send out non tamper-proof prescriptions). The script wasn't in the patients file, so the office girl asked pharmacist to fax it over. He did, and they said "That's not the doctors writing. Call the police on him and have him arrested!"
Smartly, pharmacist did not (not only because the customer resembled Charles Manson, but...well, okay, mainly because the customer looked like Charles Manson).
Later, Manson calls and I answer.
Me: "Pharmacy, may I help you?"
CM: "I was in earlier today and the dimwit at my doctors office said my script was fake."
Me: "Okay." I knew the situation, I don't need him to explain it again.
CM: "Well, I called the office. Let me assure you of two things - 1) my prescription is real, and 2) Pam is a dimwit."
Me: "Okay."
CM: "So the doctor won't be back in the office until 1:30. He'll let you know it's real."
Me: "Okay." I didn't want him to come back and kill me, so I'll just readily agree with whatever he says.
CM: "So don't give away my patches to anyone else, I'll be there for them soon."
Me: "Okay."

I told the pharmacist about it. A few hours later we get the fax back from the office with "This is okay to fill" written on it.
Charles Manson showed up a bit later and paid $1.00 for his patches.

Allow me to introduce myself

I'm 32, I got married in 2004, and we have two kitties. I've been a pharmacy technician for 4 1/2 years - that makes this the longest I've ever stayed at the same job. I work for a major retail pharmacy, and my husband is an overnight manager for the same chain. Until January, we worked in the same store, but I transferred to a store in our hometown and have saved myself quite a bit of stress. Why? No drive-thru in my new store, for one thing. That alone has saved me a lot of strife (the stories I could tell about drive thru sadists...don't worry, I will). Since I'm still in retail, though, I continue to get customers who drive me to drink. Not that I drink frequently, but there were times in my old store where I'd leave work, go to the nearby package store and buy a nip, pour it in my milk bottle and drive home. It was a short drive so I'd be home before I felt the alcohol, but anyway...haven't needed to do that with my new store. Yet.
When I apply for Medicaid because I've become so mentally unstable I'm no longer able to work, I will thank my customers. For you see, they've given me a case of the crazies.